; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize