is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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