i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
