Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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