You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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