I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
this beer tastes like vomit already
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize