I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
