I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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