went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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