How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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