went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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