Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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