you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
