I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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