im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
