We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize