dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am one with the molecules
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
