Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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