May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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