oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
