Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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