There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
