making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
