i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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