anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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