called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
