that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
