Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
