I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
