Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
