What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
