This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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