therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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