I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
