so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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