Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
