ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
