well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
