coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
