and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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