So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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