I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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