just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
