Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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