Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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