i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
