woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
