Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize