Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
