Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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