No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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