i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize