I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
