You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
