Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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