OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
