My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
