youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
