just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
