Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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