I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
