I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
