Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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