i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
