If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize