Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
