Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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