True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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