and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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