were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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