He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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