I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
