Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
