they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
