last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
