I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
