Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
