It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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