At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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