I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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