fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So squirting runs in the family.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
