they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize