need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize