Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
