he thought i was a dude.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
