Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
