My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
