is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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